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I went to see "Cabin Fever" last night. Going into the show I had already resigned myself that this show was going to suck and blow, but my buddy wanted to see it and I had nothing else to do. I thought the movie was going to be one of those Freddy vs. Jason vs. The Archies. I was only partially wrong, I say partially because the movie was total crap, and there wasn't much gratuitous violence (human on human anyway) and there wasn't a monster that walked around in a hockey mask or sneaked up on you in your dreams or anything. The basics around this cinematic tour-de-force is:
a. 5 college students take road trip and...
b. stay in a cabin in the woods
c. have sex
d. drink beer
e. smoke pot
f. kill a woodsy homeless guy (accidentally of course)
g. have more sex
h. catch a (ebolish like) flesh eating disease, that...
i. makes them spew blood that has the consistency of Karo Syrup and red food coloring
j. they also get chased by a bunch of hillbillies (ala...Ned Beatty 'the other white meat')
k. and one or two of them gets chewed on by a rabid dog
The part about this movie that twisted from all of the other flicks of this genre is... THEY ALL DIED. How anti-anti-climatic is that. It's almost like someone actually thought this thing through BEFORE they loaded the camera with film. Although, thinking back to the credits, the guy who filmed it, also produced it, and directed it, and wrote it, and played one of the characters. That should've been a big red flag that read: "THIS MOVIE WILL WASTE YOUR 89 MINUTES, IT'S BAD, REAL BAD!!! LEAVE NOW AND GO SNEAK INTO DICKEY ROBERTS - FORMER CHILD STAR. SCRATCH THAT, THAT MOVIE IS JUST AS BAD. JUST GO HOME AND WATCH CARNIVALE ON HBO".
Here's a moment of self-actualization (or would this be self-realization) I like movies, even shitty ones.
9/22/2003 07:41:20 PM
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