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How Do You Recover?
I'm not sure if you've gathered from my previous post, but I'm fairly conversational. I'm usually not nosey, I try not to pry and I'm definitely not invasive or anything, but usually if there is an opportunity for conversation I'll gladly pipe up. A while back I was at a shopping center in another town roughly a hundred miles or so from my home. I'm out in the mall area sitting on one of the benches, watching people, you know just hanging. Occasionally an old man would come by sit down on the other end of the bench and nod, I'd nod back. From time to time there would be other dad/husband types come and plot down on the bench, they would deflate for a few minutes until their significant other stressor would show up and off they would go in search of another respite.
I'd been there for a good thirty- maybe forty minutes, when this attractive, 20 something, lady (to be pc- woman, female, girl, human with estrogen dominance whatever calms your waters... to me she was a lady, anyway) comes and sits on the bench. I initially evade eye contact, I don't want to seem like I'm sitting there as some sort of perv or anything.
After a minute or so she says "hey, how are you?", "I'm fine, how are you?" I respond. The makings of a wonderful conversation on a great Saturday at the mall, right? Right, we strike up a conversation. I'm generally rather reserve in situations like this, I figure if I don't know a person, but the situation is allowing for "good talk" then I'll let the other person have the floor. The way I see it other people have a story to tell (that's probably why blogging is so popular) I'll get out of their way and let them tell it. Anyway, she tells me about her old (EX) boyfriend, sports, restaurants and bars she likes, her pet, her job, her apartment, varied opinions on politics. It's not entirely a one sided conversation I'm asking questions, but clearly she's steering the conversation-- the topics of discussion are hers and I'm cool with that, I listen. Then she starts asking about me. I tell her all of the general/perfunctory information. Always conscience of the PPP (possible perv perception) I'm usually quick to point out that I'm married and I have a daughter, I'm not on the make. Then I cover other topics like off-the-wall stuff I like to do, what I do for a living, general stuff about my kid, just basic info. Light and cordial stuff.
I'm sure I was starting to dominate the conversation.
After a while she figures out that I'm not from around there, so she asks me "where ya from?" (Here's how the conversation went from that point)
Me: "Macon."
The Lady: "Macon?"
Me: "Yeah, it's a pit"
The Lady: "Yeah, I hate that fucking place... My father was murdered there!"
Me: "___________~ speechless, mouth ajar ~_________"
Me: still I'm "___________~ speechless, mouth ajar ~_________"
Me: still "___________~ speechless, mouth ajar ~_________"
The Lady: she shrugs " ' Sucks." she starts welling up with tears " ' gotta go, good to talk with you."
Me: "My God, I'm so sorry!", as she's walking off I tell her to "take care."
Later I figure that:
(a.) her dad really did lose his life in my hometown, for which I really did I really did fell sorry for her.
or
(b.) I was boring the ever-living shit out of her and she need an out.
or
(c.) She was a hooker and I was wasting her time.
There's a lesson here: If you find yourself in the need to shut down somebody completely mention to them about a murdered relative--- I was speechless and I totally gave her an out.
12/9/2003 08:40:30 PM
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