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The Narcoleptic Van Luge
The Narcoleptic Van Luge
I've mentioned my annual Mantrip before (see the Thursday, October 09, 2003 | Exhibit A post). The Mantrip is a testosterone laden/alcohol soaked long weekend where a bunch of friends (up to 12 one year) corral our lazy asses into a "sooped-up" circa 1988 custom Chevy van and travel, headfirst, into a frat-type weekend.
Each one of us are known by our individual personas, most of us have appropriate nicknames. There's "Mitch the Bitch" aka "Mitch the Mooch", Tom "the Woman", I'm known as "Batman", Joe's the "Narcoleptic". Todd is "Big-Funny". The list goes on, I won't bore the crap out of you with all of the names, but none-the-less they fit.
Each trip is marked by, and later named by an event that happened on said trip.
The 1998 Mantrip was dubbed: "The Narcoleptic Van Luge".
Why Narcoleptic Van Luge, you ask?
It had something to do with "Joe the Narcoleptic" being elected, appointed , deputized , czared designated driver since he couldn't drink because of the meds regime he was on. We're all smart, somewhat educated grown men. It made all the sense in the world to have Joe drive us through the severely, mountainous terrain of north Georgia, at night, late night, in a van the had the suspension of a covered wagon and the steering of a rowboat.
After the hick-bars had closed and we were still in one piece and not in jail, but ugly (this actually should read butt-ugly) with drunkeness and debauchery. We finally decide to head back to the hills, off to the cabin. Joe at the wheel.
THAT WAS THE MOST T-E-R-R-I-F-Y-I-N-G RIDE OF MY ENTIRE... DAMNED... LIFE!
I'll admit it. I was scared. I almost cried(scratch that) shrieked like "a little girl". At one point, I... I... I almost poo'd (I ain't too proud). Joe would do, like 30 miles an hour on the straight-aways (all five of them), then careen through the curves doin' 80. We'd be pulling 4-g's by the time we hit the apex of the curve. The van's doors would be practically scraping the asphalt due to the speed and lack of suspension combination. He fell asleep a few times. I'd see him nodding, them BAM, he'd be out. REM sleep! Only to come back "to" when we all would squeal in terror.
We made it back to the cabin. How? I was riding shotgun so I was on consciousness alert, whenever I thought I saw the sandman getting ready to slam it to Sleepy Joe I'd let everybody else know. If I remember correctly I think Tom would go for the wheel. Anyway, we made it back. (In my best Jimmy Swaggart voice) THANK GAAAWWD AW-MIGHT-EH UH-BUV we made it!
Thus, 1998...The Year of "The Narcoleptic Van Luge".
In 1999, Todd and I were trying to come up for concepts for that year's tshirt (I do a tshirt design for the trip). I came up with "Narcoleptic Van Luge" and we went with that. But our pile of rejected concepts were worth noting.
1999 Mantrip T-shirt Idea Rejects
1. eeeeeewwwwwww, was that you?
2. I don't like to talk about it.
3. The midnight methane glow. Did you see it TOO!
4. If my wife asks, I was never here.
5. They call this fun?
6. Why Yes, We Are Astronauts
7. Team Mantrip, Winner 1999 Discovery Eco-Challenge
8. It's a Bee-Gees Bonanza
9. Slobapalooza
10. Hey BigMan, Lemme Hol' a Dahlah (...long story...)
11. Mantrip '99, Featuring IMAX, now with Senso-Rumble (fart reference)
12. Ya know yer drunk when you let the narcoleptic drive home.
13. My only weekend that doesn't suck.
14. Le' Miseruns (poo reference)
15. It's the Pressure, The Strain of It All.
16. Batman vs. the Ritalin (illicit drug use reference)
17. The Good, The Bad, The Sleepy.
18. Hey Mitch, Can I Have One of My Beers. (reference to Mitch drinking everyone else's beer)
19. Down Home at the Stabbin' Cabin.
If I can find the tshirt I'll post an image of it soon.
12/11/2003 12:04:46 AM
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