| |
Hetero Seating Rules* Apply!!!
Let me be the first to tell you that I'm completely secure in my manhood.
As witness to that statement, I'm about to embark on another Annual Mantrip tomorrow. The Mantrips are times when I get away from the drone of the daily nine-to-five, the family, and basically everything that keeps me together as a happy, well-rounded, contributing,(read trembling, depressed, sleepless, over anxious, slightly schizoid) member of society.
For the next four days I will not be focused on work. I won't be thinking about design. I won't be wondering about code. I won't be dreaming of the next great project, that never seems to materialize. I won't be considering anything about a client. I won't be trying to figure out why I'm nearing fourty, and not bathed in millions. Ok the last one is a bit of a stretch, I pretty much know why I'm not up to my buttcrack in money, but I'll save that for a later post. I digress. From tomorrow (Thursday) morning at 10:30am until Monday morning at 10:30am I will not produce.
I will consume.
I'm not sure how I feel about that. But then again for now, I don't care. Be assured details will soon follow.
While we're on the topic of my manhood, have I ever mentioned that I'd make a great wife? It's true. Actually, I'm referring to the occassional role reversals Leslie and I share here at the R80o Shack.
Early on in our relationship we decided to throw general conventions to the wind when it came to "his" and "hers" duties, responsibilities, and certain roles around our house. It works beautifully.
Example: I hate yardwork. Despise it. If it was up to me I would pave our yard, paint it green and live merrily ever after. Flipside of that, Leslie loves tooling around in the yard. She gets a certain pride out of a freshly mowed and edged yard, to the point of tongue-in-cheek arrogance.
Example: Leslie hates to cook. She knows how, she just hates it. Leslie's idea of a meal is very simple, very mid-western... Just a meat-like substance and something vegetable-ish. Sometimes it's not even that, it's just a bowl of cereal. Opposite that, I rock the kitchen. The other night we were trifling through our somewhat bare pantry looking for something to call a meal. What followed 30 minutes later was referred to by Les as "A Stoner's Delight**". I had made shrimp cheese grits that had me considering driving over to my parent's house and slapping my mom. Those puffy, yellow, clumps were truly, angels on high-- ART. For those of you who may have never had grits, or had them and they tasted like shit, my condolences.
Example: Left up to me, I'd balance the checkbook every April. Conversely, Leslie likes to pay the bills and know, to the penny, what's in the account at given time.
Example: This is less of a role or duty and goes more to personality traits. Leslie is a jock, a sports freak. She can rattle off player stats and histories on just about any player in major league baseball AND pro football. She can recite benign, miniscule details from college games that happened fifteen years ago. Otherside? Me? I can "gussie up" (I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST USED THAT TERM!) a room/porch as good as any of those designers on Trading Spaces. You get my drift.
You'd get a kick out of the effect all of this has had on RZ over the past few years. Then again, later post.
Don't get me wrong, we have our traditional roles as well. Leslie does the laundry, I fix stuff. She vacuums, I kill bugs. I'd like to say all duties were shared 50-50, but honestly I know she does WAAAAYYY more than I.
I don't know where I'm going with all of this. Frankly, I'm not sure how I ended up here.
I just hope none of the MANLY MEN that are going on the Mantrip read this post. They might call me... uh... uh... WOMAN.
__________________________________________
*The Hetero Seating Rule is the understood rule that there must be an empty seat between each man in a movie theater. Not to be confused with the Hetero Standing Rule where as there must be at least one (and preferably more) empty urinals and no eye contact between men in public restrooms. I titled these unspoken rules a long time ago, but I think they're still appropriate.
**To add just one more little bit of gayness to this post... How 'bout I share the recipe?
My Very Own Stoner's Delight Shrimp Cheese Grits
6-7 packs of Instant Grits(yes instant, 'cause I'm lazy and they work)
2.5 cups of water
.25 block of Velveeta Cheese (actually it's between a quarter block and a huge freakin' hunk)
1 Vidalia onion diced
2 hawnkin' huge tbls butter/margarine
1 Pack of Hidden Valley Italian Dressing Mix
Lots of Garlic Powder
1-1.5 pounds of small/salad pre-cooked shrimp
Mix everything (except the garlic powder and the shrimp) in a microwave bowl. Nuke it for 10 minutes.
Boil the shrimp in a garlic powder/water brine for five minutes. Drain.
When the grits have served their time in the microwave, stir in the shrimp.
Wah-lah.
Now go slap your momma.
6/9/2004 11:45:36 PM
|
|
|
