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Lost.
I was out taking pictures tonight.
This is the first time in a while I've had a chance to pick up my camera and just get lost.
And get lost I did.
I'm not sure if it was an error in judgement, or subconsciously I was giving the Grim Reaper the finger, but within the first hour of shooting I found myself in a really, REALLY, bad part of downtown. At night.
When I realized where I was, my butt cheeks clinched up and all of my senses went on high alert. I decided to keep shooting and not to nut-up and leave unless something happened. Besides, I was packing heat, if a small can of pepper spray qualifies as *heat*.
Anyway, courage in check, I'm setting up my camera and tripod for the shot above when I notice somebody walking my way.
I keep setting up, but by this point I'm at Defcon 2. I'm only burp away from breaking into Master Karate Warrior mode.
The "somebody" is getting closer.
I'm now checking the exposure settings with my nostrils so I can keep my guard up.
Then the somebody walks up to me and in a friendly voice asks "What ya capturin'?"
That question struck a chord with me. This guy was truly interested in what I was doing. I told him I just liked the spooky feeling of these buildings at night. He nodded his head, and let me get my shot.
Then he started making conversation. (Mind you I'm still on high alert.)
Initially the banter was general small talk, "the warm up before" as I refer to it.
Then he got REAL. He asked me to "pardon" him "for being honest this time but" then he hesitated, and stammered, then finally opened up:
"Look man, I've lied. I've conned. I've thieved. But I do it... I have to do it... Because I'm messed up with, with,..." And he stammered some more.
He went on to tell me about how he's "38 years old, and life ain't 'sposed to be like this" and how he's been on the street for eight months, how he wakes up lost, and how scared he is.
This guy needed to unload, and unload he did. I listened.
He continued on about how he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how he got in this "bad a shape". He kept apologizing for "dumpin' all this" on me. I told him it wasn't a problem and kept him talking.
He talked about his family, and how he missed them. He talked about how "regular" people keep away from him, "Some of 'em run. They just run from me."
He talked about dying, in almost a wishful way. He broke down a couple of times.
All in all I say we spent roughly 30 minutes together. Towards the end of the conversation, I said something that made him laugh. Then I said, "Hey man. May the peace of God be with you." (Huh? Where the hell did that come from.)
Soon as I got that out of my mouth, he asked for a hug. (After all that, what was I supposed to say... "no"?)
So there I was, standing on the sidewalk, in the dark, in one of the worst 'hoods in the entire middle Georgia area, hugging a dude.
It was pretty cool.
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Here are a few of the shots from tonight.
1/6/2005 01:10:23 PM
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