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T-minus 1 day and counting...
My last day at my soon to be old job is tomorrow.
I guess this is a time of reflection. A solemn time. A time to consider what I've learned over the past five years. And 1 month. And 12 days. And Six hours. And 42 minutes. And 36 seconds.
Nah. Got too much shit to do.
So, um, if you feel, um... generous, come over and help me move.
I don't even mind if you live a thousand miles away, come he'p a bruthuh out.
I'll buy the beer!
3/30/2005 10:03:00 PM
The Lions March
We got to the farm around three yesterday, and played hard the rest of the afternoon and into the night.
After dinner we sat around on the front porch talking, as the first few drops of rain started to fall.
The first raindrops on a tin roof always seem to hit the hardest.
Soon the shower turned into a storm, and we moved our conversation inside. The moms were busy trying to get the kids to settle down and go to sleep. Given how hard we'd played since we had gotten to the farm I decided sleep wasn't such a bad idea.
Janice had made a pallet for the little ones on the floor and they were fast asleep. RZ staked her claim to sleep in our bed, which was fine, but I knew that meant I needed a place to sleep because the three of us weren't going to fit in a twin.
I opt to camp out on the front porch.
In theory this made great sense: it's a comfortable night, it's too early in the season for mosquitos, it's raining + tin roof = great night's sleep.
So I find a sleeping bag, and head out for the night.
I fall asleep around 10 o'clock.
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Thunder hits the house like a bomb.
I was almost asleep. I check my watch. It's one a.m. Scratch that, I've been asleep for three hours. How?
Now I'm wide awake, on high alert. The sky is glowing pink from the constant lightning. I feel the thunder in my chest.
The rain, my God, the rain! It isn't just falling, it's like it's being pushed... squeezed out of the sky. It sounds like lions roaring on the tin roof.
The wind is blowing the rain horizontal, the outside my sleeping bag is soaked, but I'm still dry.
I'm scared.
I'm awed.
I watch that storm move on, only to be followed by another storm, then another, and another. I think to myself and laugh that "We're in middle of a Train Echo." as my weatherfreak wife would say.
Then I remember that train echos usually mean tornadoes. I rationalize that I'm safe because the house has been here since 1850. I told myself that "This house has seen worse. This house has seen worse.", although I don't think I ever have.
I stay awake, hiding in the sleeping bag, watching all hell break loose from one o'clock 'til around four o'clock, when it got so bad that Jeff came out and asked me to come inside.
I go right in, find a spot, and sleep until nine a.m.
Later on this morning Jeff laughs and says, "Dude you know it's rough out if I'm asking you to come inside!"
Dude, it WAS that bad.
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Ellaville Pictures
3/27/2005 09:21:00 PM
I love the smell of napalm on Easter morning.
The girls (Leslie, RZ, HolyDog and Merf) and I are heading to the farm with Mr. and Mrs. Jones and the Jones' spawn for Easter weekend.
If southwest Georgia, and northwest Florida are left in a heap of smoldering rubble afterwards... RZ did it.
3/25/2005 08:47:00 PM
The voice of reason.
So I'm in the kitchen earlier tonight, mauling into a bag of "Blue" Doritos, when MerfDog walks in and stares. Doesn't sit, just stares. Not at me, just into the space. I figured she was contemplating the details of her day. A few seconds later, HolyDog walks in, and stares. Not in the same direction as Merf, she's perpendicular to Merfie. But Holy is also just staring.
I'm quietly watching the two ponder whatever dogs ponder, as I continue to stuff more Doritos in my face, casually wiping Dorito dust onto my jeans.
It's a satisfying, peaceful, moment for the three of us.
In walks Leslie. She looks down at HolyDog, then loses her damn mind.
"Oh. My. God. IS that poop on Holy's fur? I think that's poop on Holy's fur. Smell it. Smell it. That's poop in Holy's Fur. She's been outside and she rolled in something. That something is poop. I know it is. RZ. RZ, come smell Holy's Fur. I think she's got poop IN HER FUR. Mark you smell it. It's poop. Smell it. Oh my god, she's got poop in her fur. Smell it. I can't smell it. Last time it was poop in her fur it almost made me throw up. Mark, smell it. It's poop in her fur. Smell it. POOP."
Hello tranquilizer dart?!
Leslie, and both dogs are standing there, looking at me, waiting for me to take action.
Doritorrupted and put out, I calmly say, "It's shit."
"It may be chocolate, but I'm going to assume it's shit."
"I don't need to smell it."
"I don't need to taste it."
"It's just shit. And that's all."
Less than a minute later, ShitFurDog and I are in the shower.
I should've kept my mouth shut.
3/24/2005 09:35:00 PM
"Same as it ever was. (bawnk to the forehead) Same as it ever was."
Day In The Life March 2005
The Day in the Life is that Flickr thing wherein members take pictures throughout their day (the "day" being the first day of each season), and post/share the pictures.
 Click the picture for the rest of the set.
As I was loading the images up to Flickr tonight, this song came to mind.
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And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful
Wife
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money’s gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go?
And you may ask yourself
Am I right? ...am I wrong?
And you may tell yourself
My god!...what have I done?
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/in the silent water
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
ONCE IN A LIFETIME
The Talking Heads 1984
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I love the Talking Heads.
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Note: At the time of writing, Flickr was experiencing some problems.
3/22/2005 12:02:00 AM
Tweaking the Mommasan
My dad was back in the hospital on Tuesday. He had ANOTHER heart cath. His third in four weeks. The man's ticker is slowly turning into a machine with all of the tubes and stints they keep installing in him.
I just talked to him a minute ago and he sounds like he's doing great. He even baked Leslie a batch of oatmeal cookies.
Not to worry, it's not like anything bad will happen ever to the VespaWarrior.
While he was having the procedure done, I got sentenced had the opportunity to perform waiting room duty with my mom. Usually that's Leslie's thing. Les does "hospital" well. She handles herself like the medical pro she is. She knows the doctors and can speak their language, then she can interpret the doctorspeak back over to my mom. In a clear, slow manner.
It's a time-tested system that they've developed over the years that works.
Well Leslie wasn't available Tuesday, I was.
Too bad for my mom.
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After the cath procedure was finished, my mom and I followed as the nurse pushed my dermerol-riddled dad back to his room. He was in and out of consciousness, hazy, hardly lucid.
He'd mumble something and then fade back out.
At one point in our walk back, my mom said "Ah jus' hate that feelin'. That drunky-drunk feelin'. Don't You?" With the sincerity of a televangelist I answered back "Oh by all means. There is simply nothing I hate worse than a good old, warm, carefree, drunky-drunk feeling. Oh the horror."
You've probably figured out that my folks are teetotalers. Actually they'll have a closet beer when nobody is looking, but what say we keep that our secret.
That drunky-drunk feeling, it just isn't "propah".
3/17/2005 08:04:00 PM
Ok. I can talk now.
My apologies if you've been stopping in only to see the same post for a week straight.
I've had a lot of stuff going on recently that I've really been wanting to tell you about, but up until now, I've had to keep quiet.
Also, thanks to all of this stuff, I've been pretty single-minded. The term "tunnel vision" would be putting it lightly. I could barely even carry on a regular, face-to-face conversation without spilling the beans.
It's like I've been holding out. Covert.
I really have been nuttin' up over having to keep this to myself. I suck at secrets.
Cutting to the chase...
I'm opening The Brainstorm Lab in April.
The Brainstorm Lab is a creative services company. Think graphic design, photography, and web development. Then mix in a little helping of interior design* (as odd as that still seems to me), and you have my company.
So now you know.
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*I'm designing thematic school lunchrooms. Go figure.
3/14/2005 09:35:00 PM
In the same room, a million miles away.
I've been unplugged for almost seven days. Barely even checked email.
I took some time off last week, and wound up calling in sick and spending all of yesterday on the red sofa.
During these past few days of rest and reflection I've come to understand one basic fact...
TIVO ROCKS!
Yesterday morning as I was writhing on the couch, you know what I did? Watched The Daily Show... In the morning!
Around 1:15, when I woke up from my third nap, know what else I did? Watched the Simpsons... On a Monday!
I even watched four episodes of Reno 911 IN A ROW, without commercial interruption... No Commercials!
Actually we've had the service for several weeks.
The biggest downside I've noticed so far is Leslie hasn't missed a single Oprah, Idol, or Bachelorette.
3/8/2005 10:41:00 PM
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