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Came across this a few minutes ago. Shit from the sky... I know that feeling well.
Everyone's OK!
5/31/2005 11:44:00 PM
Whirlwind | Click.
I had become jaded, and cynical. Emotionally, I was in pretty bad shape... emotionless.
Thinking back, most 1988 and the first half of 1989 was a pretty dark time in my life. I hated my job. I hated where I lived. I hated waking up. I hated going to bed. I didn't like being alone, but I had gotten to the point where I didn't like being around people either. I had completely given up on any notion of a relationship.
I was sour, only because I was too young to be bitter.
Late January of '89, I had gotten about as low as I could go. I had a choice to make: eat bullets or change. I chose change-- drastic change. I quit going to Chasens, matter of fact I quit "going out" all together, quit drinking (regularly), quit burning through cash, started going to the gym every morning at 5:30, and gave up rec-sex. There other changes, but these were the biggies.
This sounds like pop-psy bullshit, but I really needed to figure out who I was.
Months later, when I met the "single too" girl, life had made a real turnaround.
I did ask her for number that night in the car. I called her the next day*, and within two days we were sitting together in a dark little hole in the wall restaurant talking... laughing.
We talked for hours. Connected.
I had never met anyone like her. Ever. Who would've thought that just two Saturdays later, there would be even more drastic changes ahead.
*note to Leslie. I just remembered why I called you the next day. Because I said "I'll call you tomorrow." Go figure.
5/31/2005 09:27:00 PM
Whirlwind | Awkward
"When I start makin' love
I don't just make love...
I be strokin'
That's what I be doin', huh
I be strokin'
I stroke it to the east
And I stroke it to the west
And I stroke it to the woman that I love the best
I be strokin'"
---
I don't recall leaving the bar, nor do I recall the drive from Tripps to Chasens. Funny thing is, after all this time I'm remembering things in segments and frames.
So we're at the nightclub. Chasens was everything you could expect out of a premier, first rate, uptown, high class, night on the town... IN A HOLIDAY INN.
Mauve and teal formica. Mauve and teal furniture. Mauve and teal carpet. Mauve and teal artwork. Mauve and teal bartender uniforms. Even mauve and teal toilets.
Yes, this was the Eighties after all.
The club definitely had a redneck Bob Guccione skankness, but it was the only place the 20-30 set singles went. The proverbial Meat Market.
The "Regulars", as I called them, were almost like props on a set. You had your 'Roided-out, overtanned, racoon-eyed, waxed "Pumpers", in their Hammertime balloon pants and silk wifebeaters. Then there were "Cah Dealuhs" in their yellow ties, banker collars, cuff links, and slicked hair. There were always guys I knew from high school, friends. They wouldn't speak, they'd just bob their head up once in order to acknowledge, but not to break their "cool" factor. There were the "Lurches". These were the guys in sunglasses that stood arms crossed and didn't budge the whole night. There were "CarryOver Bettys" (these were the Bettys that didn't get picked up from Tripps). There were the "Queens of Planet Big Hair". One girl in particular I always referred to as "Hair Hitler". She was always there, always sitting in the same spot at the bar, and her hair would almost touch the overhead glasses rack. It seemed everybody was sporting the fresh baked, overdone, leathery booth tan.
Oh, I almost forgot, there were sequins. Lots of the women wore sequins. Now who in their right mind, who is not onstage singing Liza Minelli songs with a hidden adams apple, would wear sequins? Even then.
Everybody had their game.
Are you getting a feel for how much I hated this dive? I always felt so out of place there. I guess since I didn't have a crowd to be "IN", I could talk about everybody... It took the sting out.
The music was probably the worst part of Chasens experience. The DJ's musical taste ranged from "Unchained Melody", to that "Now I've had the time of my life..." song from Dirty Dancing, to Clarence Carter singing "Strokin'" then back to "Unchained Melody". Occasionally he'd throw a curve ball and play that "Pure Energy - I want to know, what you're thinking" techy song. I think he did that just to see the Pumpers do the Robot.
He always cranked the music up past full blast, all the way to distortion. Decibels? Yeah 110 - 220, whatever it took.
Now in the middle of all of this, I'm trying to be social and chat up the "single too" girl. After all we had ridden together from Tripps. We had history.
Our conversation got to the point where I would say something, she'd shout "WHAT?" as loud as she possible could, moving hair away from her ear, as she leaned in. "WHAT'D YOU SAY?"
I would then scream the comment back at her as loud as I possibly could.
I had enough of the screaming, I asked her if she wanted to go outside to talk.
She yelled back "NO. WHY?"
"Um... uh.... Ugh."
"Well fuck it then. Just quit trying." I thought to myself, and clammed up.
An hour later, I quietly drive her back to her car. We get to the parking lot, she opens her door. She starts getting out the car, she pauses... turns to me and asked...
"Are you gonna ask me for my number or what?"
Things are about to speed up.
5/25/2005 11:31:00 PM
Whirlwind | The Look
I was her first and only victim.
---
My sister and I batted around small talk for a little while. We were basically alone in the crowd. Not a bad thing, especially considering the crowd.
Peggy must've noticed because it wasn't long before she was doing her best to get us into the group.
"So Markham, your sister tells me you drive a truck."
"Yes ma'am. I drive for UPS. Those brown things are sorta like truck I guess."
"My goodness. A UPS man."
"Yes ma'am."
"And she tells me you're single?" she popped a seductive grin on her face as she said that.
"...uh-huh."
Peggy was a good bit older. Scratch that, Peggy was a alot older, like grandmother old, and married. I wasn't real sure where she was going with this.
I was getting uncomfortable.
I took a drink and looked over at Renee, as if to ask her if this woman had a nose problem.
Then Peggy blurted out, "Leslie's single too."
"oh... great."
I glanced at the tall, "single too" woman at the far end of the table, and offer up a half-assed smile and a head nod. Initially I thought she was paired up with one of the other guys at the table.
Later I found out she thought I was married to my sister.
Thirty minutes to go.
In between bites of potato skins and the fried cheese sampler I noticed the "single too" woman watching me. She'd be talking to Peggy, Dave or John, or taking a drink, but she kept her eye on me.
Odd.
Instead of getting all cocky, and sure of myself, my insecurities crept in and I started rationalizing that I had pitstains or a maybe booger was dangling.
Little did I know she was practicing the "Art of the 'Look'". A technique she read about only a week earlier in Cosmo.
Little did she know I was so NOT looking for a hookup.
As we finished our drinks, and my hour was about up, Peggy looked directly at me and announced, "We're going to Chasens now. Leslie will ride with you. Renee will ride with me."
Yes ma'am, BITCH. I thought.
Chasens was a nightclub. In a Holiday Inn. Chasens was the kind of place that always turned a good night bad, a bad night worse.
Chasens sucked. And Chasens blew.
Ah crap. Anywhere but Chasens.
5/24/2005 08:29:00 PM
Whirlwind
"C'mon. Go to Tripps with me."
"no."
"Ah c'mon. Ya need to get out anyway. I'll pick you up in an hour."
"I don't want to."
"Please. Pretty please."
"A'ight, I'll go, but I'm 'as is', screw this playin' dress-up bullshit."
And on that note I hung up the phone. Resigned to the fact that I had to go out to a bar with my sister. Not that hanging with my sister was a bad thing, it was the bar, T.K. Tripps. Tripps was one of those brass and fern places that the yellow tie yuppies, and their big hair bettys considered "our bar".
I loathed that place. The food was alright, but the atmosphere stunk with pretension.
My sister picks me up. As we get to the parking lot, I look at my watch and calmly tell her "One Hour. TOPS." She agrees, then we go in.
As we walk into the place, that "check-out hush" happens. You know, the weird quiet moment that happens when you go into a place where folks are there "to be seen", the rooms gets quiet for a split second.
As the din of the crowd starts back up, I hear "Renee, we're over here!". Seems my sister is meeting friends from work here as well.
"one hour... tops." I whisper to her as we walk over to her friends.
"We saved ya'll a seat." Then the introductions start,
"Hi. You must be Markham. I'm Peggy." She extends her hand. I shake it.
Well hey there Miss Peggy, how're you? My ass is outta here in 59 minutes and 13 seconds. I think to myself.
"...and this is Dave."
How 'bout it there Redfaced Dave, how's the blood pressure? Aren't you the one screwing around on your wife? My sister has told me all about you.
"...this is John..."
John! Man! How the hell are you. It's been like forever. No seriously John, we've never met. No I'm not your best pal. Leave me alone John, you're skeeving me out.
"...and this is Leslie."
Hey. How's it going? You're do-able. Oh holycrap, are you really that tall, or are you standing in your chair?
After we all exchange niceties, and hand shakes, the group goes back to their respective conversations. The two woman are talking amongst themselves, the two guys are talking to themselves. My sister and I are sitting at our end of the table, quietly trying to kickstart our own conversation, as the waitress asks "Drink?"
June 7th, 1989 - 7:15 p.m. Only fifty seven more minutes to go.
5/23/2005 10:19:00 PM
8:15a - Breakfast
I'm sitting at the table watching the Today Show, drinking coffee and eating cereal, when THAT commercial comes on. I try to ignore it, I can't. I try to look away, I can't do that either.
You know the one. The one where "Wind Beneath My Wings" is playing in the background. There's a scene of dad and his little girl playing, then it segs to the daughter getting fitted for her wedding gown, then it cuts back to the dad smiling as the daughter (little girl) is playing dress up in angel wings, then it cuts back to the grown daughter getting married, then it cuts back to the dad and the little girl laughing and playing, then it cuts back to the wedding reception and grown daughter is asking the dad to dance, then it ends as the dad and the little girl are dancing.
Yeah that one.
Now I've got swollen eyes and snot drooling down my face.
Thanks. Thanks alot assholes! You just ruined my manly morning.
I am such a wuss.
5/18/2005 08:22:00 AM
From today
 Click image for more...
God, I love my job.
5/17/2005 08:22:00 PM
Neo.Alt.Indie.Sellout
I need your help.
I'm putting together a soundtrack of commercial music. I'm talking about music beds you'd hear on those concept commercials by Volkswagon, Mitusbishi, and others.
So far I've got:
* "Molly's Chambers" - Kings Of Leon
* "Days Go By" - Dirty Vegas
* "Ready To Go - (Original Mix)" - Republica
* "Uncontrollable Urge" - DEVO
* "Breathe - Telepopmusik" - Dave Dresden
* "Shot Shot" - Gomez
* "Ariel Ramirez" - Richard Buckner
* "Ballroom Blitz" - Sweet
* "Everybody Got Their Something" - Nikka Costa
* "Jerk It Out" - Caesars
* "Pictures Of Matchstickmen" - Status Quo
* "I Ran" - A Flock Of Seagulls
* "Things That Make You Go Hmmm" - C + C Music Factory
* "Porcelain" - Moby
* "Jump Jive An' Wail" - Brian Setzer
* "You Really Got Me" - The Kinks
* "Song 2" - Blur
* "Praise You" - Fatboy Slim
* "Real Wild Child" - Iggy Pop
* "History Repeating" - Propellerheads
* "Naked Eye" - Luscious Jackson
* "London Calling" - The Clash
* "Trammps Disco Theme" - The Trammps
* "Battle Without Honor Or Humanity" - Tomoyasu Hotei
* "Lust For Life" - Iggy Pop
* "Instrumental" - Galaxie 500
* "We Are Made Of Stars" - Moby
* "Cars" - Gary Numan
* "History Repeating" - Propellerheads
* "London Calling" - The Clash
* "What Do I Get?" - The Buzzcocks
* "Real Wild Child" - Iggy Pop
* "Naked Eye" - Luscious Jackson
* "Trammps Disco Theme" - The Trammps
* "Starry Eyed Surprise" - Paul Oakenfold
* "Turn Up the Bass" - Bass Daddy
* "She Sells Sanctuary" - The Cult
* "This Is The Day" - The The
* "Desert Rose" - Sting
* "We Are Made Of Stars" - Moby
* "Right Here, Right Now" - Fatboy Slim
* "These Days" - Nico
* "Instrumental" - Galaxie 500
* "Toxic Girl" - Kings Of Convenience
* "Cars" - Gary Numan
* "Ooh La La" - The Wiseguys
* "Da Da Da" - Trio
* "Gravity Rides Everything" - Modest Mouse
* "Lust For Life" - Iggy Pop
* "Pink Moon" - Nick Drake
* "Move On Up" - Mark Eitzel
* "One More Time" - Daft Punk
I'm finding some really great stuff! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. The more obscure the better.
(Susan E. this has got your name written all over it.)
5/11/2005 10:41:00 PM
Press Play
I'm not dead. I've just been playing like it here.
Yesterday Leslie even asked me why I haven't been writing much. Of course I told her that her "raging beauty has been stealing my thoughts, leaving me utterly and totally speechless."
She COMPLETELY bought that answer.
Fact is, I've got a few things working against me posting with any sort of regularity,
A.) My computer is at the office now. Access from home is now limited to RZ's computer.
B.) RZ is the Instant Messenger Queen. So the only time she's not on her computer is when she's doing homework, or off with friends. Funny how kids don't use the telephone anymore.
C.) The red couch and the remote control have made me thier ponyboy.
D.) Work. That's more of a reason than an excuse, but things are settling into a groove, soon that'll be even less of an issue.
And E.) Drought. When I do have my turn at the computer, I'm at a loss for words-- innerwords. It's like I stopped writing for a little while, and I lost my voice or something. Oh the drama.
Anyway, with that said, I'm here.
Now I just need to talk that ragingly beautiful, thought swiping wife of mine into another computer.
5/9/2005 02:16:00 PM
Ghosts on the Frontline.
I went to one of those Civil War battle re-enactment things yesterday. A friend of mine asked me to go, he said there would be plenty of photo opportunities. I went, camera in tow.
It was fun. Odd, but fun. Once I got there and got a feel for the place, I got into "the zone" and sorta vanished. I know this sounds weird, but I felt like the proverbial fly on the wall.
The (actors?) "enactors", being the consummate professionals they are, were completely in character. Anything outside of the scope of their "battle" didn't exist. In a sense, I became a ghost, walking around them completely unnoticed.
I decided to test my new invisibility. I walked into the "encampment" to setup a shot for the "pending carnage". I got past the camp and was heading out onto the battlefield when a sentry spoke up and said "Hawt! You go pas' tha' cawnuh, I'll shoot chuh." A simple "You can't go there." would've worked, but Jebidiah meant business. I laughed as I stepped back.
Soon after the battle started, the crowd got caught up in the flow of things. Getting caught up was way too easy for some of them. Granted, the cannon blasts were real enough to rattle your pancreas, but even without the cannons, some of these folks were REALLY into this thing. Rebel yells and all that shit.
"Yaykees er ki-erts!" The kid to my left kept screaming at the other team. "Die you sumbi'ches!" his dad would yell. I thought to myself that, technically speaking, the "sumbi'ches" are dead, get past it. Then I remembered I was a ghost, and figured ghosts aren't supposed to argue sematics with those of the here and now, so I kept my thought to myself.
Another thought I had as the battle raged, was why the south lost. I'm not a historian by any stretch of the definition. But I concluded the Confederacy lost the Civil War because of...
...too many Funnel Cakes.
5/2/2005 06:51:00 PM
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